in black and white

2008-01-18T04:44:00.000+08:00

Christmas is(n't) Christmas...

2007-12-24T22:24:00.000+08:00

First of all I just wanna wish all of you, MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS to all! I hope you guys are out there having fun! Because there's no reason why you shouldn't be having fun.

Just my two cents on this year's Christmas for me...is definitely different. Spending Christmas far away from home, friends and family is really quite an experience. Especially if you're going to spend it at a place where nobody celebrates Christmas, let alone understand the true meaning of Christmas.

During Christmas, usually i'll be busy feasting on honey baked ham and turkey, while for the first time I had steamboat (or hot pot) during Christmas! So strange! And on Christmas eve, i'll probably be counting down to Christmas with my friends, but I'm actually sitting here at home typing this entry out.

Pardon me, don't get me wrong I know I might sound a little bitter about it, but nonetheless, it's an experience that I'd definitely keep it with me for a long time.

"Christmas isn't Christmas if it doesn't happen in your heart". This phrase is so applicable at the current point of my life. It would be even more difficult to feel Christmas if the air of Christmas is not singing through your surroundings and when you feel as if you're celebrating it alone.

Picture this. Imagine a dark, cold and silent winter night, with a glass of red wine in hand, laying on a soft, plush cushioned couch, listening to christmas sound tracks such as 'Have yourself a Merry little Christmas' by Cold Play at the comfort of your home. This was the picture i drew in my mind, each time I thought of Christmas.

But since I'm actually having a glimpse of what i always thought i might spend Christmas someday, i believe it would be more ideal if it's still spent with your loved ones.

Introspecting on my current mood and feelings, it's hard enough to even remember to wish people I meet,"Merry Christmas!" Pretty unorthodox for a person who enjoys Christmas most.

Anyway, wherever I am or will be, Christmas is Christmas because it's the birth of my Lord Jesus Christ and in remembrance of Him for what He has done for me and mankind - Happy Birthday!

Happy holidays and season greetings to all! Enjoy your hearts out everyone!

New toy and mind games

2007-12-22T04:49:00.000+08:00

So i've been unrelentingly trying to start a new blog, well i have already started a new blog. It's in livejournal by the way, but you know screw china and their damn net nanny.

I just cannot bring myself to understand the rationale of blocking livejournal, why block livejournal? Anyway, just for holding purposes i'd just post a few entries here since its the most accessible, even though im using a proxy to type this entry out. Really. Crazy.

It's been 3 months since i've been away from motherland. Never in my entire life have i been away for that long and this experience is rather...interestingly foreign. So, each time i actually leave home, i always feel as if i'd leave a part of me in Singapore then live in this whole new reality that seemed more of a fantasy of its own.

But since being away for 3 months is not a time too short, this fantasy becomes reality and i realise, hey i'm actually living in china. No parents, no friends that i used to hang out all the time. Its living life on a clean slate, only problem, you just don't know where to start.

If you want to know how's it like for me here. My feelings are rather temperamental and erratic. Some days you feel nothing, some days you realised you've been thinking about home too much and sometimes you might even think to yourself, 'Why the hell am i doing this to myself?'

Enough said about my feelings, not going to change anything either. So my personal opinion about Dalian. It may not be very accurate but I can vouch that there are people who share the exact sentiments. Metaphorically speaking, Dalian's a newly purchased toy. For the first few days, you want to play with it and you definitely want to explore the functions of this, in hope that you might find something distinct and really cool about it.

So days passed and maybe just mere hours, you might think you've found something cool, something you could hang on to that will keep you playing the toy just a little while longer. But all it was, just a delusion of that everybody wants you to believe in. So the moment you wake up from this delusion, 'poof!', novelty's gone.

Like listening to a song on loop, it gets distasteful and finally deafening after awhile and you just wanna trash it.

However, it would be unfair to just criticise on the negative points. I guess i have my fair share of fun when i first came here. I loved the weather, its nice and cold. And I've made some really good friends here, while supposed friends are becoming strangers.

Drats! I really wished i could fill you in about my life here in Dalian. But I've got a meeting to attend in a couple of minutes and if i was in a better state of mind, this entry would seem a little more sensible and humane.

As mixed up as this entry seems, so is the fella typing this out.

Moving. Away.

2007-09-19T15:26:00.000+08:00

I believed i have once mentioned that i'll be going to move on to a new blog and have yet to be materialized. Hence, finally i'm moving to livejournal. I'll put up the link as soon as i'm done looking for a nice layout for the blog.

Next, as you all might already know that i'll be flying off to China, Dalian. As realistic as it could get, i'll be flying off this week! Sunday, 23/09/07, midnight, 0055. Terminal 1.

To all my friends, please be there early, like around 10 the latest?

Bloody hell, i couldn't believe that i'm actually going to be away from Singapore for 5 months. I'll definitely miss the food here and of course, my family and friends! Take care all of you! Will see you guys next year!

Til then, God Bless!

s.u.c.k.s

2007-09-12T00:36:00.000+08:00

I officially pronounce today as the most trying, suckiest day of the month.

busy-ness

2007-09-11T13:28:00.000+08:00

The feeling of being at somebody's disposal is indeed, pressurizing and punishing. For those who are currently in this state, i feel you man.

I never thought the pressure and responsibilities of one, being a leader could be filled with such surmounting pressure(I mean, I anticipated it to be stressing). Too many responsibilities to be accountable and answerable for, especially when you'd probably be the 'envoy' of messages from one party to another.

Meticulous and concise information, even just small trinket of details left out could cause so much difficulty and inconveniences that one(or me), would never foresee.

It's a challenge being a leader to a group, an agony to be under one's nose.

Month of happenings

2007-09-04T11:44:00.000+08:00

As the title says it all, this month's a month full of activities for me. I'm actually in school typing this entry out. How nice, pfft!

Well i'm having my final year project right now and the latest news that i have received, is that i have been chosen for the overseas attachment to China, Dalian! Tentatively, i'll be leaving on the 17th of September, which inevitably, would be this month.

(Bloody hell, the keyboard sucks!)

So i'll be gone for 5 months and will be back in early February next year.

And i realised that damn its just a couple of weeks away, so it's really high time i have to catch up with all my friends before i leave for a long time! Will get all of you guys out sometime soon!

Another update, last week we, The Midas Touch had our Zero2Hero competition at Civil Service College and we got 3rd! So yeah...but i believe we all have done our best in putting all our effort for the competition! It was great!

Concurrently, I have also been working at Comex, IT Fair for three days, last week. First time working for an IT Fair, and i must say it was a pretty good experience, really enjoyed myself and also made some new friends!

If i'm back from China and time permits, i wouldnt mind working for the next IT Fair. Job offers, anyone?

Now, i'm just really tired. I need to catch up on some sleep. Have been sleeping for only 7 hours for previous week til today. Damn it, i feel so lethargic!

Anyway, I'm really happy that i got the opportunity to go overseas for my attachment! Really looking forward to a whole new experience, awaiting for me! But, shit, there's also alot of preparations waiting for me before i leave Singapore...that..i'm not looking forward to.

Okay, i think my lunch break's around the corner. So i'll stop here!

Free!

2007-08-28T01:27:00.000+08:00

Oh finally! The long awaited the day has arrived! Can't tell you how elated and ecstatic i am right now. The exams are over and the grueling semester has finally ended! Great!

If there's a day to remember about this year, it will be the 28th of August 2007 at 10.30 am, when the invigilators finally announced,"Okay. Please stop writing. Please ensure that you have written your Admin number and not your name. Do not talk, while the papers are collected." And then a few moments later... "You may take your leave now!" Yes! The magic phrase that determines freedom for the rest of my year - i don't have to take anymore exams for a few years from now!

Okay, back to reality. I know I haven't been updating for God knows how long it is. Then again, just a little update about life happenings right now.

So in a few days time - 1st September at 6.30pm - my band, The Midas Touch, would be performing for the Zero2Hero competition at Civil Service College!

I think it'll pay for all the effort that we have put in for the past few months, getting together almost every week in and week out just to practice as a band for the competition. I don't know how you guys have felt working as a band, but im sure we had our rough times but nonetheless, it's an honor to have the privilege to play with you guys - Aaron, Ariel, Daniel and Darren.

Talented bunch of musicians i must say. Thanks for everything yeah.

Okay, since there's almost nothing much for me to jabber about, i'm just going to head to bed...HAVE A VERY GOOD NIGHT Y'ALL!

to iylia

2007-07-24T23:27:00.000+08:00

i know this is a little way too late, but nonetheless, the party was great and it was nice meeting up with you and everyone again! really enjoyed myself! So here's a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO IYLIA! stay cool as always yeah! =)

transformers!

2007-06-28T17:25:00.000+08:00

Watched transformers last night at its gala prem. If you like awesome animation and graphics, you should catch this show! Stunningly impressive! Loved it. Although you might sit till your ass burns (its about 2 hours and 45 minutes, by the way), it's worth watching!

Ah well...how technology advances that it can create movies like transformers, as though they were real!

Fantastic. Four.

2007-06-25T00:40:00.000+08:00

Just caught fantastic four on Saturday and i thought it was good. Jessica Alba's hot, Silver Surfer's the coolest, man what more would you ask for?

I think most of you should have caught it and I hope Transformers will be good, saw the trailers and it was pretty impressive. I have to catch that movie in the theaters no matter what!

Anyway, its been 2 weeks that my holidays have passed and damn, it's so freaking fast! I barely relished enough of the seemingly, last holiday of my academic year and its slipping away so discreetly.

Had been going for all(most) of my guitar practices on Tuesdays and Sundays, occasionally going back to school to complete some projects and meeting up with a couple of friends. Of course, not forgetting, the 'dotaing' and all.

So much to do yet so little time to do them. Now, I'm just left with another week of holidays, considering that I've only got 1 paper, so there's nothing much to fret about right now. But i will have to start studying soon.

I pray for a fruitful week ahead of me.

weary

2007-06-02T12:31:00.000+08:00

This week was a terrible week. Mentally and physically drained by the pace of life i am having in school. Too much time have been wasted on nothing and it's so frustrating that sometimes, i have too many decisions to make and in turn, i have to sacrifice pre-planned plans for something so last minute that held a higher paramount of importance.

Nonetheless, i thank God this school week's over and i'm going to enjoy my weekends! Have a great weekend!

tight week

2007-05-28T22:52:00.000+08:00

Finally! I've gotten the long awaited macbook! Really excited about it and currently I'm using it to blog this entry down. I must say it's pretty difficult to use as I'm a green horn with mac's operating system and it's user interface. But, I'm getting better at it i must say.

Really having lots of fun with it!

Anyway, this week's would be one of the busiest weeks I'd ever have. I'm jam-packed with activities, almost back-to-back. And it's so packed that if anymore shit crops up, i have to start deciding and weighing the importance of the activity and i might have to sacrifice one of them. In which, i do not really like the idea of. Then again - shit happens.

Recently, i just signed up for a competition called, Zero2Hero - a band competition and the interesting part about this competition is about picking up an instrument that you have little or no knowledge about and you(and your bandmates) will have to go through a series of lessons every once a week for about 3-4 months. Finally, there will a band competition at the end of it.

From what i last heard, the band I'm in is bent on winning. So we have to work really hard! By the way, my band mates are Aaron, Ariel, Darren(band leader), Daniel and myself. When's the competition held, I'm not quite sure yet, but will find out soon.

A little update on school. School has been the bulk of all my activities. I don't really know what has gotten into me, maybe it's because it's the last year already and maybe some mysterious motivation hit me one night and i thought i should be more active in school. So yeah, school's been so tiring for me. Every fortnight there's a report and presentation to complete, assignments to hand in. DEAD BEAT.

I'm looking for some breathing space. I just want to see this week pass as soon as possible.

inevitable

2007-05-09T10:44:00.000+08:00

Do you remember when we were just kids
And cardboard boxes took us miles from what we would miss
Schoolyard conversations taken to heart
And laughter took the place of everything we knew we were not

I wanna break every clock
The hands of time could never move again
We could stay in this moment (stay in this moment)
For the rest of our lives
Is it over now hey, is it over now

I wanna be your last, first kiss
That you'll ever have
I wanna be your last, first kiss

Amazing how life turns out the way that it does
We end up hurting the worst, the only ones we really love

I wanna break every clock
The hands of time could never move again
We could stay in this moment (stay in this moment)
For the rest of our lives
Is it over now hey, is it over now

I wanna be your last, first kiss
That you'll ever have
I wanna be your last, first kiss

Is it over now hey, is it over now
Is it over how hey, it's not over now

I wanna be your last, first kiss
That you'll ever have (that you'll ever have)
I wanna be your last, first love (that you'll ever have)
Till you're lying here beside me with arms and eyes open wide
I wanna be your last, first kiss for all time

re-dress!

2007-04-24T22:48:00.000+08:00

Just got a new skin for the blog and its still under construction! So pardon me if it looks quirky and incomplete for now. But comments about the new skin will be most welcome! (only comments about the new skin.)

memorable nineteen

2007-04-22T19:12:00.000+08:00

First and foremost let me kick off this entry by thanking Cassie and all my other friends for making my 19th birthday so awfully and horribly memorable. So this entry will solely be dedicated to all of them.

Cassie, thank you for being such a wonderful friend for planning everything since the week before my birthday until the very week of my birthday. First you got the pizzas, then the pair of jeans and the surprise school visit, accompanied with a cake and lastly, a milk bottle filled with all my friends' best wishes and greetings, in which i would say it's sheer hard work! I really didn't expect anything much this year but, well, now it's just too much for me to accept. I truly enjoyed my birthday and you've left me speechless and indebted! Thanks!

As I've promised. Marcus, Stephie, YenLeng, JiaWei, Vina, Cassandra, OC, Dhurga and Zul for celebrating my birthday in school! I seriously didn't see any of these coming, but nonetheless! I'm truly grateful that you guys were part of it! Thank you all!

Wanping, Shumei and Jolynn! Thank you for making a surprise visit at my house in the middle of the night despite having school the next day! Also, for making that wonderful card and the drinks over at cafe iguana! It's great knowing you guys and I appreciate everything that you've done for my birthday!

And the Brotherhood! Well I'm really sorry that i couldn't come down and meet you guys on the following day of my birthday, I had to go over to my aunt's house for my cousin's birthday. Really really sorry, but i just want to thank you guys for writing those birthday wishes that's inside the milk bottle! Rest assured, I will try to spend more time and hang out with you guys more often and yeah, I'll never leave the clique which has been with me since those kickass secondary school days! How could i? ACS FOREVER!

I would also want to thank these people whom have seen me through my life, no doubt they can't be my friends but they are definitely more than friends and has always been there for me. I just want to dedicate this portion of the entry to my aunt and uncle for bringing me up and treating me to a sumptuous birthday meal and the drinks! I just can't thank you guys enough and I thank God that i have relatives like you to walk through life with.

Next, I just want to thank my parents for everything that have done for me for 19 years of my life and everything that they have given me! No doubt there has been many ups and downs but still, I thank God for everything!

Lastly, I just want to thank all my friends for being part of my birthday surprise! Thank you for making it so memorable! You guys rock!

Like every teenager who is so eager to grow up, when they were 13 or 14, they dream of being 16 and when they are 16, they dream of being 18. But now that I'm 19(nineTEEN), which would be final year that i could be a teen, just wish i could stop growing up. I know things will start to change again and i will have to face with many more and different life challenges after this year. But i guess these are things which are inevitable but I must say it scares me somehow.

Once again, I just want to thank all of you who were part of my birthday for making it so enjoyable!

After ending.

2007-04-07T19:39:00.000+08:00

It feels strange that an entire week has passed since i came back from Cambodia and I still feel a little foreign in the place i've been living in for like 18 years? Occasionally, i still do think about the fun and the things i did when i was in Cambodia though it really doesnt help much in helping myself to re-adjust back into Singapore's life, the usual routined life.

I set foot into orchard for the first time in 2 weeks on the very day i came back to Singapore and i must say that it seem really weird to me, as if Singapore's the foreign land now. I cannot imagine how just 2 weeks of my time spent in a foreign country, could leave me with such an impact - an eye-opener, life changing.

For the entire week, it felt as physically I am in Singapore yet my soul is still in Cambodia. Maybe it's the first time i've gone overseas, further than Malaysia by myself and experiencing a total different life, a life that was packed with activities and everyday i'm on the move, anticipating for something new that my Cambodian friends would introduce me to. Yes, so simple yet i would say, much fulfilling.

I will never forget these people whom have imprinted their sincerity and warmth into my life...

You've given me a different perspective of life..

Twisted ending

2007-03-31T20:26:00.000+08:00

Joom reab suor!

People often say, "don't wish for things that you don't wish for". I think i could personally relate with that. If you have seen the previous entry i left on my blog, i wished that 2 weeks would pass quickly. However, now that I'm back in Singapore already, I really wished that i could still be in Cambodia.
As you could tell by now, I heartily enjoyed myself in Cambodia and it was far from my negative expectations just before i left for Cambodia.

I know my feelings before the trip and after it is rather extreme, but nonetheless, I'm glad I took up the opportunity to go over to Cambodia. It's really an eye-opener. The experiences i've gained from the trip is priceless.

In Cambodia, you get to do things that you can never do in Singapore, however you try to. Their culture is so diverse yet their lifestyle's just so simple that Singapore can't offer. Through this trip, I've learned many life values. One doesn't need extravagance to be happy, all you need is to be contented with the simplest and the littlest things that we have. Ironically, it's so difficult for a Singaporean to achieve happiness and contentment when we, seemingly have more than what they have.

The Cambodians have left a very deep impression on me. Their hopsitality and their genuine sincerity is simply so moving that they made it so hard for us to leave on Thursday, 29/03/07. No doubt, most of them are around the same age as us, but they really know how to make us feel really important.

Anyway, here's a shoutout to the Cambodians at KYA! Thank you for all that hospitality that really made us feel so welcomed! Thank you for all the love, care and concern that you have showered upon each and everyone of our lives during the 2 weeks stay in Cambodia! I truly enjoyed myself and I will never forget all the happiness that you've brought into my life, which i truly appreciate!

I'll miss Cambodia and I'll definitely go back and find them.

The trip

2007-03-11T22:47:00.000+08:00

You can say I'm stupid or you can say I'm just out of my mind. But yes, i think I'm both sometimes. Especially when you're talking about making a quick decision which is all so, dilemmatic.

If you know me, I don't actually favor the school im currently in and for all the reasons - both right and wrong - i would actually agree to go Cambodia to do community services. What was i thinking? I wish I knew what was going through that head, when i made that decision on that particular dreadful and fateful day.

I thought Iylia did the right thing, I think i should just slap myself for being such a genius. I don't like the school and I would bother to go overseas (when i wouldn't even do shit locally).

If you ask me what would i benefit from this, let me put it all down on one slate and on another, what would have been sacrificed and lost.

To start off let me just say this, what i would benefit from it, doesnt seem as promising as what WILL be sacrificed. So in short, i don't really give a shit whether i benefitted from this trip, because i don't expect anything out of it. So a couple of pathetic cca points, which might seem almost negligible and what's the price to pay for this? 2 weeks. Next up, 'one-of-a-kind' indelible experience of your life and what's the price to pay? 2 weeks and 300 bucks. Lastly, which by the way, is the only consoling part of this trip, i haven't sat on a plane before and so it's good that i get to sit on one now. And i haven't been to Cambodia before, so it's good that i can go there now. Yes, that is it for all the benefits. Nice?

Delving right down into the sacrificial list, as it's been mentioned twice above, 2 weeks of my entire holiday. Before you start your uproars, i'm going into the second week of my holiday and if i am not wrong, precious holidays will only last for a month and a half. With that, after 2 weeks of Cambodia, a month will pass and i'm left with another 2 weeks of holidays. Next, still on the point about the cost of 2 weeks, you know how many events i would have to hopelessly miss? Brotherhood's going to Malaysia together and I know it's going to be hell of a time when everyone's there. It would seem more logical to spend that money with the school, but what more could you ask if you see yourself having more fun spending time with good friends than...school? Not only will i miss this, but a party that i am invited to by my aunt. A party that will be filled with quality company, good food and drinks. Yet i will be spending my time doing something maybe, you could call it 'fruitful', boring the shit out of me at a place i could even barely call it safe.

Well i'm just going to end the list here. I know, that the money has been spend, air tickets bought and i should make the best out of it. At this point of time, i'm pretty frustrated with making the best out of the situations, (I know this will be a very controversial topic) but it just shows that im so pretty helpless and all i help myself is to relent to the situation i'm in - yes, make the best out of it.

I must say that, that's all that is left to do but i definitely gained one experience from this and WOW, how much of a hassle it could be just to get over from Singapore to Cambodia AS a group representing your damn school. Honestly, I was totally caught off guard about having to attend bonding camps and classes about computer maintenance and all. Little did i know that the level of commitment demanded would be expected for just 2 weeks of community service, totally unprepared for it. Maybe i should "thank" my friend for putting it so brutally nice and bitterly convincing that we would just head over there and setup computers. Well, i would't blame him for it but he was my closest friend in school and maybe, i was too naive to think that everything would be alright if he's going.
Maybe i should think that its fortunate that a bonding camp was planned before the trip, intending to give you a little feel about the people you will be working with and how lonely you will feel, even though you are in such a big group.

Amazingly, even before i step into Cambodia i had already acquired one hell of an 'experience' and with that, i will conclude that you know, going for school expeditions are too much of a hassle and it's nothing that i'd love doing yet too much of a commitment burden to carry during my short-lived holidays.

I cross my fingers that life will not be as bad as i thought it would be and those 2 weeks will pass by in a blink of an eye.

I hate meetings. It's bullshit.

To mars and back.

2007-03-02T01:30:00.000+08:00

So finally, I've decided to get my butt down to blogging. But I'm going to keep this short as it's getting really late and i - am a sucker for sleep - need just alot more rest.

I think the last entry did not contain any greetings for the new year, so here's a very belated Happy New Year(Thank God for Chinese New Year)!

Alright, an update about my life at this point of time - nice. But for the past few months...nah. I didnt really have any life actually, it was all about school, meeting project deadlines, studying for all the tests that were bombarded one after another. So..it's one of the factors why i didn't have the time to update this dead blog. HOWEVER, right now i'm just about to try to keep this blog in motion again!

Life's really good now, at least for now. Simply because the exams are over and everything about school's over. And i could finally have some precious time for myself and friends. I can't express how happy or rather relieved i am right now that i could finally have a taste of freedom - sweeeet!

How time flies so quickly, I really do wonder sometimes how'd I ever gone through those dreadful days and weeks and now, I'm moving on to my final year which i must say that I am happy yet sad at the same time. Happy that i am one year away from getting out of the school which i never enjoyed, but i am rather reluctant to grow up.
It's funny how when you were younger, at the age of 16 and you're dying to become 18, but when you've finally reached 18, you wish time would just stop for awhile or even rewind back to the time when you were 17, offering you that privilege of relishing in those moments for at least a couple of years more, yet knowing it's never going to happen.

Life still goes on and on.

I know it's a little anti-climax right now to end this entry here so abruptly, but nonetheless, i need to sleep...Anyway, i hope everyone's doing fine and all goes well for this new year! Goodnights!

2007-01-06T13:21:00.000+08:00

Life is so strange

church camp

2006-12-10T22:57:00.000+08:00

It's been 2 days since church camp has passed and I was just about to get into the momentum of it all, until the last day of camp came knocking at the door of my hotel, "boy, it's time to pack up now! Church camp's over!" Aww...Yes in short, i really missed camp!

Albeit this camp's the first camp i've ever been to in Wesley YM, but i can't deny that it has been one of the most memoriable and blessed church camp that i have ever been to! Two thumbs up!

Since I didnt actually have the opportunity to go up on stage to testify about how the camp have impact me, I would only think its fair that i should personally jot down my experiences and happenings during this camp. As for now, i'm so blessed that i cannot just keep mum about all that has happened!

I would say that through this camp, I've drawn much closer to God and as I've shared during small group time, I came to the camp not expecting much just to get whatever that i cant get. But i must say that i've actually got more than i asked for, other than growing closer to Him, I know that the passion and fire for God has been re-kindled in my life. And i'm happy about that!
Next, i would say that the people around me during the camp actually contributes to creating an impact and influence around me. I would say i've grown closer to my friends whom i already know and inevitably, i've made more friends in church!

As I stepped into the service hall today(although, i was late!), i could almost sense a different aura and ambience which was untangible yet comfortable. It just feels like home! Which is where i belong!

And did i mention this? 1 Peter 1:17! You're the best! Woo! Alright, this is a shoutout to all my group mate during my camp! I pray you continue to grow in the Lord and that we may never forget the bonding and fellowship we had during this camp, 06!

Next shoutout, is to all the bruddders and sisters in church! Thank you so much for being so welcoming and making it so happening and fun to be around with!

As you can tell by now, you surely know that I have thoroughly enjoyed myself and if you're asking me if i'd be attending next year's camp. It is almost not a doubt that i'd be there!(Unless shit happens = school exams/test)

I wish i could explain and describe to you my ecstatic joy and the happenings during camp, but I thought, this entry might never end! You just have to know that i'm happy and that's fulfilling enough.

Oh yes, latest news! I would like to congratulate my dearest and beloved aunt for winning the best supporting actress of 2006 during the star awards! I'm so proud of you! You totally deserve it!

The hectic weeks

2006-11-27T13:37:00.000+08:00

While typing this entry out, i'm actually over at Nick's place and i'm hogging his computer! So, thanks mate!

In retrospect, my weeks do pass really quickly nowadays ever since school started. I wouldnt say it's a bad thing neither would it be a good thing, because sometimes the good times pass too quickly and yet you would like the times of tribulations to pass as quickly as possible. SO yes.

The timetable for school is as such; mondays i do not have school and then it's like a stampede for the next four days as the hordes of modules that i have are being cramped into four days. It's exhausting because i've finally realised that i'm not quite cut out to be a morning person, hence i'm always late for school(as usual, i know but....shh!).

You can't say that i didnt try with utmost effort to try to be punctual for school, but i just need lots of sleep. I'm a sucker for sleep! I need at least 9 hours of sleep.

Today's monday and not for long tuesday will come and hopefully, the week will pass even before i know it.

Inside out.

2006-11-13T02:01:00.000+08:00

Indeed, better is one day in the house of the Lord than a thousand days in a world. My, it's been only a week that i haven't been to church and it already feels as if i haven't been there for a month! Not that there are much significant change, but surely i could feel a change that exudes jet-lag like symptoms. Such a wonder sometimes how spirituality could affect my life so much.

I enjoyed church today although somehow, church came to a close with some inexplicable abruptness, but i could be oblivious to it.

Oh yes, i have to wish my brother happy birthday, so my BLOODY BROTHER, HAPPY BIRTHDAY PUNKASS! Don't be a jackass anymore, you're not a 13 year old kid! MUAHAHAHA.

So i spend half the day celebrating his birthday and then, left for Muks' house. Thanks for the food! It's nice but i dont take very spicy food, sorry!

Anyway, it's getting late so im really feeling like a sleepy head now. So, i'm out. But I thank God for today...

This week

2006-11-11T01:51:00.000+08:00

I feel a little guilty that I haven't gone for training(swimming) for the entire week, but i guess i do have more-than acceptable excuses to have skipped it. Trainings are on mondays and thursdays, 6 to 8 at night. So conicidentally, i had make-up classes on this particular monday from 6 to 8 and since studies are prior over cca, i've no choice but to miss it.
On thursday, training's the same time, same place. The story goes like this, my dad bought a pair of tickets to watch Yngwie Malmsteen's concert in Singapore, with initial intentions that i were to accompany him to catch to it, but due to some unforeseen circumstance, it is business trip superceding the concert, sadly he had to miss it. At the end i went with my brother. Coincidentally again the concert falls on this particular thursday night, hence it'd be foolish and wasteful if i didn't turn up for the concert as my dad has already paid 140 plus dollars just to get the pair of tickets to catch Yngwie(which would be almost a one-time opportunity) live in Singapore.

The concert was great and rocking! He's indeed the fastest guitarist! The way he immaculately manoeuvre his hands around and across the guitar with such ease and dexterity, is almost unattainably impressive! Such a prodigy. But by speculation, Darren feels that he sold his soul to the devil in exchange for the talent, which might be feasible. Who knows?

The concert was good but it was pretty deafening. My ears were so numb after the two and a half hours concert and the moment i stepped out of the concert, deafening rings seemlessly started to stream into my ear drums and until this morning, i could still hear it. But for now, i'm good!

To summarise what actually happened this entire week, other than school, i've been regularly meeting up with the brothers and not forgetting, I have to dedicate this portion of the entry to my brothers(though it might be already to late BUT, better than never!). A HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO WILSON, AARON and ARIEL! I hope you have a great and blessed birthday! Finally legal to do many things!

As you can see its getting real late, i have to turn in now, so i'm ending here. Nights!

The last entry of the month

2006-10-30T11:40:00.000+08:00

I presumed that nobody actually visits my blog nowadays, but lately it is apparent that people actually do visit. (Check out the previous comments left on the tagboard before tab's tag, utterly stupid.) So perhaps with such affirmations, I should be obliged to hurry an entry, like now. Since it's the last day of October, i should just write an entry to wrap up the entire month(As the previous entry was coincidentally posted on the 3rd of October).

The happenings for the entire month - the standard living of life in Singapore. As nothing extravagant actually happened for the entire month, other than going through two dreadful weeks of school, attending church, meeting up with the brotherhood(which was the only consolation of the month) and also trying to get my butt down for training both in swimming and muay thai.

Lately, I just feel so unfit; it is as if my body has been detached from my mind for just too long and that it's too rusty to coordinate with each other. I have been playing soccer on mondays regularly and as I try to start chasing after the ball, it felt like 10kg of weights were wrapped around my legs, making it so difficult just to even lift my legs off the ground.

So, I really have to start my exercising and re-build my agility so that i can move around at ease on the field. It gets really frustrating when i just can't perform on the field, it's my favourite sport and i don't wish to feel incompetent in it.

What else? I haven't really thought much into writing this entry. I guess i have to blog a little more regularly so i could bring it to another level, rather than the usual vapid contents that similarly repeats itself, except in different words.

So let me think of what i could write about before i continue...

I need a haircut.

2006-10-03T14:13:00.000+08:00

How time flies. Since the last entry that was posted on this stagnant blog, 4 weeks have gone and im left with the second last week of the entire holiday, how nice.(I'm not very keen on going back to school, that's why)

To actually give a summary of what happened for the past 4 weeks, I actually got a job for the first week and soon after seven days or so, i lost it. Not because i got sacked but it's a project-based assignment, so after it's done, i'm not needed anymore. Really sad. Then for the last 2 weeks i've been staying at home, bumming around with whatever money that i've earned for the last 2 weeks. I was pretty keen on looking for another job(It's not as if i didnt tried, i called up a couple of job agencies to get me a short-stint job though.), but given such little time left, who would hire someone who could only work for 2 more weeks? Certainly not. I guess i just have to really make use of whatever money that i have wisely.

To describe my life for the holidays would certainly be summed with one word - blurry. Just going through the entire routine of life..breathing, eating and sleeping. That's about it and time still passes by but nothing much has actually changed, or has it gotten worst? I got my results, they weren't up to expectations, i saw my timetable and i'm totally flabbergasted and furious. I strongly object having night classes on fridays. Seriously, this damned school has already robbed me away from much of my freedom. First you conveniently took away all that june holidays and december holidays, and now you want me to go back to school on friday night? I hate to say this, but F*** YOU times three!

Anyway, i'm just going to write another letter just to get me out of this hell hole. If the entire class doesnt want to be out of it, I will be most willing to be out of the damn class. Let's see what happens when i've finally draft my letter of bombardment and displeasure.

Actually, I feel a little guilty and disappointed with myself, because i haven't really hanged out with the brotherhood this holidays. I really hope i could catch up with them more often before the lovely holidays come to a close.

Job Hunting

2006-09-08T11:33:00.000+08:00

Looking for a job is indeed difficult. Especially when the amount of time you have is relatively short and constrained. One week of holidays has passed since its started and learning from past experiences, it's better to start looking for a job as soon as possible, if not it makes the search even harder, as everyday counts.

Sometimes i love the holidays yet hate it. It's too long for me to slack around and waste my time away, yet it's too short a time for me to find a decent job. Seemingly, im growing pretty desperate as every day that passes!

So, this is an entry of help and plea. I need some help in looking for a job, any job recommendations, do leave a comment on my tagboard! Thanks!

Holidays! Welcome back!

2006-08-30T14:04:00.000+08:00

Finally, the smell of freedom to do anything that i want is back! The exams are finally over! Although i pulled off an incredulous stunt on monday. You see i did study, i studied so hard but it's just that...i studied for the wrong paper for the wrong day! How cool is that!

Maybe i was too complacent and thought that i've studied for the correct paper and didnt bother checking my phone(Because i left the dates of the exams int it) more than twice. But just as i was on the train to school, which was about 5 minutes away from school and 30 minutes away from the paper, i was just simply..stunned. So in such a constraint and constricted situation, i just had to make do with and try my best to study as much as i could and absorb all of it.

Seriously, thank God i brought the materials along with me or else..i'm just so screwed. So i sat for the paper and i came out with half-grinned. The paper was easy, i could do most of it..but the paper was too easy that there'll surely be some down moderation..pfft..

You can laugh at me. Sometimes, i dont know what to do with myself! Ha!

life prerogatives

2006-08-26T01:31:00.000+08:00

There are somethings in life you can acquire, and some you can't.

Some prerogatives that we get and some that we can never experience no matter how hard we try. Yet there are somethings in life we work so hard for it but we never get what we really wanted, then when we dont try to hard we get better than expected. Isn't it?

Sometimes, you wish you could leave yourself and be someone else. Don't you feel that way in anyway?

The luxuries of life, to me, is a chase that never ends...

O.. thou fragile life

2006-08-21T12:12:00.000+08:00

Indeed, life is really very fragile. One moment you might be fine and the next moment you might be bed-ridden or at it's worst, "oh shit, i'm dead! Hello God!"

Knowing myself, ever since i was young, i was a kid who was pretty much injury proned because of the activities that i engage in. But i've never recalled once, getting myself into so many minor freak accidents as compared to this year.

To actually jote down all those 'memorable' freak accidents i've got myself in would actually date back to the time when i was thirteen, secondary one...

I was on my way home, i alighted from the bus just outside my house and then, i didnt know why i'd do it but, i've foolishly jaywalked in front of the bus and obviously forgetting about the on coming traffic on the next lane so...the next thing i knew was that i woke up underneath a tree and there were a couple of people surrounding me. Frantically, i looked around and cried, "i've got to go home!" But some stranger held me down and explained that they had called the ambulance. Yes, the ambulance came eventually after a couple of minutes and i was brought to the hospital. In the ambulance, thoughts just sped past my head and i was trying to recall what actually happened before i landed underneath the tree.

Thank God, i just suffered a few grazes and abrasions. But i have to admit i'm still at a lost about what actually happened.

Next foolish accident that i've got myself into was something similar to the one above, except that it occured while i'm conscious. This accident happened just outside Faith Assembly and i was going to jaywalk, AGAIN. This time, i was well too absorbed into trying to message and has slipped my mind that the road was two-way and hence, i didnt look out for the traffic that was coming towards me and a car just merely scraped past me. The first thing that came to my mind was, "Shit, what the hell just hit me?" It seemed as if 10 rugby players just came charging towards me. The casualties - a hair line crack on one of the toes on my left foot and an abrasion on my right elbow.

The last time i didnt experience the feeling of getting hit by a car, so this time i know how freaking awful it is to get hit by a car. P.S I'm still jaywalking.

Thirdly, this happened at the start of the year. Simply said, i drank myself silly and then i didnt know what was going on and the next thing i knew, i lost half of my 2 front teeth by the next morning.

Embarassing and stupid. So from then on, drinks, moderate please.

Fourthly, it just happened on saturday, after muay thai training. I thought of strengthening up my shins, so i went over to kick the bundled bamboo poles that was tied to a pillar. I kicked it thrice with my left leg and then it hurts, so i switched leg and started kicking it with my right. I kicked it thrice continuously and then the next moment i see a hole in my shin and bloody just started to spew out. First thoughts that came to my mind, "God, i'm bleeding...bleeding..BADLY"

So i got the little crater in my shin stitched, with four stitches (OUCH). And i have to just stay at home for about 2 weeks, isolating myself from any vigorous activites until its recovered.

You don't have to tell me, but i know how foolish i am at times. On the contrary, people make mistakes, people play with fire and get hurt. Most of the time we should learn from it. I have no idea what kind of freak or stupid accidents i'm going to get myself in, but surely i have to be more careful.

I pray that i wouldn't get myself into such accidents again.

God protect me in my every step. Amen.

2006-08-13T22:57:00.000+08:00

New blog skin! How's it?

The past, my present and future feelings

2006-08-01T20:07:00.000+08:00

I thought of a new start. I thought of a good start to a new chapter of life. I presumed that a new chapter of life, the negative things of the past will disintegrate. I thought i'd have a refreshed perspective of life. Isn't it so? Or is it a dream? Do i continue to dream?

It's been said umpteen times that we should always look ahead in life, leave the past as it is; behind. Is every second, the clock ticks away, the past of our life that we should just leave behind? I asked myself this question too many times, i doubt i can confidently churn out a definite answer.

Paradoxically, we live today that we might live for the future. Strange isn't it?

I've tried to bury the past and keep only the good memories alive, but how is it that the present is occasionally the reenactment of the past? Is it human to make the mistakes we knew we were making? If that's the case, do you call that sin? How is it that unwittingly, we plunge ourselves into this deluge of mistakes we try to avoid?

Am i appropriate in my reactions towards how i feel? Or am i just being over-sensitive, worst still, being self-delusional? Yet it isn't incriminating to feel this way, however, it's detrimental.

I don't want to be alone. I feel outcasted. But was it self-inflicted? Or is it situations and circumstances that sporadically compels me to mixed feelings?

If life is about living for today, in turn for the future, i pray that what i'm feeling is a symptom of stress and after the exams, life will re-organise.

Breaking the silence

2006-07-28T17:24:00.000+08:00

Before anyone almost or, actually becomes well- accustomed to my irregularity(in fact, almost inactive) in blogging. Here's just another entry just to nullify the aura of stagnance and extinguish that thought in your mind!

Currently, i'm in school using the school's computer to entirely type this simple entry now. And so you might ask, why haven't i been bothered to do my usual updates? I'd simply sum it up into two factors; i'm lazy and school work's sapping the life force out of me.

I would say that both factors are interdependent. Lazy because i'm too pre-occupied by the amount of projects i've got to hand in, within such a small timeframe. It has been three weeks that i've been cracking my head, trying to just complete(not even to beautify) the various projects that i have. Yes, admittedly yet shamefully, ever since the semester started, i haven't been consistent in following up with school work and projects. Consequently, i'm left with only one route; rush it.

I would like to type abit more but unfortunately, lesson's over and so i've got to leave! Once again, Thank God It's Friday!

Laters.

Happy Birthday Fly Entertainment!

2006-07-09T00:38:00.001+08:00

I must indelibly jote yesterday's happenings down on my blog.

On 07/07/06, Friday night, at zouk, i've experienced the most exciting and exuberant party of the year! And i could only be grateful and thankful to my aunt and uncle for bringing me along to this party! So thank you aunt and uncle, you're the best!

Now, let me explain what happened last night. Basically, the main event of this party's actually the seventh birthday or rather, the seventh anniversary of Fly Entertainment! So, my aunt and uncle, being a celebrity, was invited to this party and they were so nice that they even invited to go along with them!

So we got there in a car and when we reached the entrance of zouk, as usual they are the 'limelight' and i'd feel peculiarly displaced, simply because there is an incontrovertible line between celebrities and non-celebrities. Then again, when you are with the 'limelight' you will feel like them, and of course, absorbing the cheap thrills of being glamorous yet uncomfortable. Then at the door, we were warmly and well-received by the various ushers and for the first time, i neednt have to present an id to the bouncer! That was sweet!

As Fly Entertainment is a media company, the event was accompanied by staged performances and also the exhibition of the various artistes who has been with them for about 7 years (I'm pretty unsure about this)? And at that point of time, i was still busy trying to orientate myself, calibrating my position in the club so that i wouldnt feel so awkward.

Now, the good fun begin after the event ended. We were invited to the vip section and that was where all the havoc started. I can confidently admit that i've never enjoyed myself in a club this much as before. The way celebrities club, i would say in my opinion, revolutionary! I've never seen so many drinks being ordered at once and i've never taken so many photos in a club before!

I have to really thank yuan qi, for all that picture taking! Thank You! He's a really good photographer!

I would say through this party, apart from all that fun that i get, i think i've got to know a number of people whom are certainly 'healthy' towards my social network. Really appreciative about it and once again Thank You aunt and uncle! This entry's for you! Cheers!

p.s. If i can get some more pictures, i promise the next entry will be 'the gallery' of pictures. I'll be sure to post them up as soon as possible!

Velvet Underground Group Photo!

If you ever see her, tell her she's a goddess

The guy on the right's so hilarious!

My uncle and i!

Late Reflections

2006-06-27T12:01:00.000+08:00

So yes, i've almost totally forgotten that i actually have a blog to update. So let me review what i've done for the past 2 to 3 weeks as i try to type out this entry. I think...I think..I think...there wasn't anything very significant except that last week was the first time i went to MOS and Zouk? Other than that, i've got an exam waiting for me this friday and i'm not well-revised at this point of time(by the way, today's tuesday). I can't say i'm screwed but definitely within this couple of short days, i'm sure i can "unscrew" myself and study what i've got to study for the test.

Pertaining to school, i haven't exactly done well, in my expectations that is, for all the test that i've taken. And you can say that i'm pretty worried that i'm unable to maintain my gpa, speculating on my current performance.

I've got to, the very least do well enough for this paper and then i can let my hair down.

acs idol.

2006-06-03T10:54:00.000+08:00

Three words to sum up the entire event, it-was-good! So anyway, i really had fun, met quite a number of old friends that are in acjc. Really good to see you guys again, it's my pleasure! And also not forgetting cheryl and friends, for being such a great company! See you on Sunday!

However, i still miss ac...

Struggle.

2006-05-31T21:18:00.000+08:00

Before i could take the next step and decide to pull up my socks and start studying proper, it's the seventh week into school and the common tests are already lurking around the corner. If you share the same sentiments as me, yes i empathise with you. Damn, that's fast.

For the past eight weeks, i can't confidently say that i've got a clear grasp about everything that has been preached to me; I would say i'm struggling and it certainly isn't a bed of roses proceeding on from year one to year two. More subjects to tackle with in fact, the most subjects i've taken for my entire poly life; nine subjects! It sucks.

With more modules, meaning more time spent in school and that's not a good sign either.
Why? It's because the timetable i currently have is imbalanced and negatively skewed. We have night classes on monday and then a free day the next day but so what? The next few days are tedious, tiring, long, boring and whatever that's negative you could think of. Besides why would i even need a break on Tuesdays? It's the second day of the week and it's nowhere near the end of it.

On Wednesday, I've got to get up before 8, Thursdays, before 9 and Fridays before 10. So you might think what's the big deal, you'll end early i presume? Not at all. Actually i wouldn't mind having school til 6pm on thursday or wednesday, but not on Fridays! It viciously devoid me from enjoying Fridays, which happens to be the last weekday of the week. I bet this didn't occur to those who created such a screwed-up timetable.

To metaphorically describe the life that i lead in school is like a cup made of glass. Firstly, ice water is poured into the cup and following, boiling water is added into the same glass of water and eventually, it cracks and breaks.

Initially, when i thought that the revamping of modules would be a good idea, a blessing in disguise but instead, it's more like an ill omen in disguise now.

To intensify the situation, there must be some idiot who has to be uniquely eccentric in class to compell the class to boycott him. How shameful is he that step on my toes and incur the wrath within, i say you ought to feel honoured, but i'm sorry bad move. Where art thou shame?

As you might perceived, school hasn't really seem all that enjoyable but it definitely seems more 'exciting'. I had a bad start for one the class test, didn't do well enough to even scrape near my expectations.

So now, i've got to end here and start studying! God please help me...

Laters.

sleepy

2006-05-19T10:20:00.000+08:00

darn...i need to sleep. I AM SO SLEEPY. Because i'm in class right now, again...blah. -faints and goes right to sleep-

boring.

2006-05-17T11:25:00.000+08:00

Gosh, school doesn't get any exciting, does it? Sigh, it's so boring and it's friggin' cold down here. -shivers- -_-

Happy Mother's Day.

2006-05-14T17:43:00.000+08:00

To commemorate happy Mother's day, here's wishing all the moms in the world, a very blessed and Happy Mother's Day! =)

The ruling party of two.

2006-05-01T11:38:00.000+08:00

I've found the root reason why i do not want to stay at home when the folks are at home. One phrase, a ruler with an iron fist. Home's becoming like a country's that ruled by two unreasonable rulers, whom just have the authority and thinks they are all so mighty.

I think i was taught how to honour my parents. Think again, sometimes they are a real pain in the ass, who thinks that their word is immaculate and final. Think again, you're wrong. We're just giving you face. Giving you that face that makes you have that impression that you're still having control over us. With such unreasonable and unsatisfactory ruling over the household, I'd say i'm pretty fired up for a revolt now.

Sometimes, i really hate adults? Because they tend to thinkg they are god? But look, you are still human. YOU ARE NOT GOD AND YOU GOT TO KNOW THAT SOMETIMES YOU'RE SUCH A PAIN IN THE ASS. Come on, be realistic, be human even if you don't want to be like parents and rather, a dictator.

One more thing, we are living in the modern world, you and your passe traditional attitude should have been scraped a million years ago. I know...I know in the 90s it was a one way thing and "my word is final" but i'm sorry in the new millenia, it's two way and "your word is final" is just the beginning of a "heated argument".

You know, it's not that we want to treat you like "ATM Machine" which you always try to refer it to yourself to credit some "self-sympathy" Perhaps you could look at your demeanour towards us that unwittingly surfaces such "ATM-ONLY-NOT-SOMEONE-TO-GIVE-TWO-HOOTS-ABOUT" qualities. Don't blame us for treating you more than just that, because that's what you've always effortlessly conveyed to us.

And for the last, i'm going to let everybody know about this. Oh you don't know how bitter i feel, but my birthday just passed and what was that one thing that you gave me? NOTHING. Oh wait one more, you gave me this reluctant and perculiarly black and long face on the day of my party held by your OWN family. What kind of shit is that?!

Sometimes, you must try to review about your own actions and not constantly trying to tell us what you've constantly beeen struggling with. You know something? In retrospect, with such parental attitudes and values that you've always inflicted upon us, i'm sincerely apprehensive about picking them after you dictators.

As you've perceived and deduced, i'm pretty annoyed with them. I think i should just get out of here and be home when all that dictators are asleep.

It is not happening!

2006-04-25T13:21:00.000+08:00

It's been two weeks since school started and this week's the second week. In a nutshell, school hasn't been altogether fun; revamped and tougher modules were thrown to us. I'd be ashame to say this but up to now, i can't exactly figure out what are the objectives at the end of learning some of the modules.

Nothing in school changed, except the entrance of new poly students which are not too impressive. What else? Some year ones turned year two became OGLs tried to segregate and set themselves apart from the civilians, gloating about their experiences and the OGs that they have guided.

As harsh as it may sound, but that's the fact. I'm not wrong. You guys know it.

This time round, there's only one word to describe the new timetable, SUCKS! I've got night classes on monday hence, there isn't any school on the following day. But it's an awful waste, the free day's on a tuesday, it's in the middle of nowhere during the week and the next day you've got to wake up at 7 for the 8 o'clock class. pfft. Thursday's and Friday's a pain in the ass, I end school at 6! Okay, Thursday isn't too bad as i could immediately head for swimming training, but Friday!? It's totally burned!

Shit, sounds like i'm complaining. Then again, this is the review of the past two weeks of life in school. Enjoy.

Celebrate!

2006-04-19T23:36:00.000+08:00

I just want to thank you all for coming tonight for a simple dinner with me! No doubt it might seem so short, but it definitely smells sweeter. Thank you for your time, company and the presents that you've given, I really appreciate them. For the presents, you read my mind! And for the dinner, it was surely fun-filled with crazy laughter and euphoria! All these couldn't happen without you guys around!

To end this entry of gratitude, i could confidently say that this 'celebration' was better than the previous year's by tenfold, despite the informality! And you guys were a great bunch of company! So i hope all that of you had shared the same sentiments of fun and enjoyment!

Take care and see you guys around the corner soon! =) Thanks!

hell commencement.

2006-04-19T11:36:00.000+08:00

Sigh, school starts all over again. =( And i'm in school right now...

in her eyes.

2006-04-07T01:03:00.000+08:00

I sat there.
All i ever see was her greyish-blue eyes
that spelled nothing except emotions.

Changes...

2006-03-31T00:35:00.000+08:00

I got really bored and started to do some casual browsing through friendster and realised that, i'm really getting older. (Please, it's not some dumb blonde lame joke, pardon me) And every year that passes by each time, many things change; in fact, major changes occurs .

Not much of a surprise that things will change over time, but i wouldn't expect such drastic changes can happen in people's life. Especially in those that you've already lost touch with and when you chanced upon a glimpse of their present state in life, you see the tables turn and wow, certainly this person has grown and matured, different!

"People change", this phrase hasn't been so literal to me, not until now.

Nonetheless, it's all part of the growing up process? I guess no one really knows what the future(physcial) really holds?

Judgement day

2006-03-20T13:50:00.000+08:00

As much fun as it seems and, that i'm enjoying the holidays, judgement day's tomorrow. It might be my dead line or it could be my life line. In short, that means the semestral results will be released tomorrow at 6 am! (And then my heart sinks and i scream from the inside, "Nooooooooo!")

Although i'd know i've already done my best and all that's within my ability, you know, you just feel so insecure, so doubtful about how you're going to fare for the exams? Because it will be such a pain in the ass, if i'd flung any modules. Basically, my life will be screwed from then on. Self-scheduled timetables, dropping of a couple of subjects in sacrifice for the failed modules and the ultimatum, LONGER DAYS IN SCHOOL. That will certainly suck.

In the end, i guess i have no one to lean on except the one above, and hopefully, he'd grant me the desired outcome.

Pretty fickle right now. But a part of me dearly wants to know how'd i fare and there's another part of me which, just...don't want to know, shun and be completely ignorant about it.

Albeit, tomorrow's the day to see if i reap what i sow.

post exams!

2006-03-02T00:48:00.000+08:00

Finally, the gruelling and tormenting exams are over! AND, the holidays are here! I've been waiting for this moment for a month and i'm happily relishing in it!

Today's the second day of the holiday. By the looks of it, it seem pretty smooth-going. Got to catch final destination 3 yesterday, well..it's the same plot, the main character has the premonition of what will happen and then she save those people from that crash but, they all have to die at the end of the day. So the story goes on and on until the last one standing which is the main character, and there she goes, goodbye!

Tonight i got to catch underworld evolution, i thought it was pretty nice and guess what it's free! Thanks Bryan, do call me more often if you have more free tickets for other shows!

If you've watched the first show, i guess you'll more or less appreciate underworld evolution. I shan't write about the story, just in case nobody has caught the show and i'd really be spoiling the fun. So, go find out what happens!

Next happy occasion would be this, i've found a job! I know that the holiday barely even started but what the heck, somehow i just got lucky and my friend found me a job as an admin staff! The juicy part about the job, is that it's only thrice a week and my workplace would be located at orchard. Very convenient, if i want to hang out with my friends after work!

Thank you kenny for getting me this job! Really grateful!

Ultimately, i have to give this all back to The One who has given and plan all these for me. So thank you GOD! All these wouldnt have happen if it werent for you!

I pray that my holiday this time would be a smooth and enjoyable one. So let's see what are the good happenings will come by next, im sure there's more...

fun o rama!

2006-02-18T23:49:00.000+08:00

fun o rama's fun! love ac.

I cant play the songs..

2006-02-13T21:13:00.000+08:00

Looking at your picture lying on my bed
Wishing I was pulling close the real you instead
I dont know what I said or did
But girl Im missing you
And I like to hear my music
But theres nothing I can listen to

Cos I cant play the songs I used to play because of you
The lonesome feeling start before the intro's halfway thru
Everyone reminds me of the things we used to do together
And I cant go to places that I used to take you to
Cos everywhere the faces there they all look just like you
Until your heart comes back where it belongs
I cant play the songs

Everywhere Im driving, I go a different way
I cant turn on my radio, afraid what they might play
My friends all drive me crazy cause youre all they ask about
And why I live in silence but they just dont understand

Without you, I cant play the songs I used to play because of you
The lonesome feeling start before the intro's halfway thru
No one can replace you cause once I tried
And even when I try to go with someone new
You are so deep in my head
I looked into her eyes but then I say your name instead
Until your heart comes back where it belongs
I cant play the songs

Theres nothing left that I can do cause I'm so lost in love with you
No where to turn, no place to run
You know you are my only one

I cant play the songs you used to sing along with me
Cos everyone is always bringing back the memory
Until your heart is back where it belongs
I cant play the songs (wont you please come back to me)

happy chinese new year!

2006-01-30T02:10:00.000+08:00

Happy chinese new year everyone! WO JAI ZHE XING NIAN ZHU NI MEN SHEN TI JIAN KANG! XING XIANG SHI CHEN! BU BU GAO SHEN! SHUE YUE JING PU! NIAN NIAN YOU YU! =)

first wasted..now a wasted day...

2006-01-28T00:24:00.000+08:00

Today's supposed agenda was to get my shades re-adjusted and get myself a jacket and then meet a "friend", later in the day.

So the day actually kicked off with a pretty good start.

Left the house with my dad at about 12 o'clock to the optician first. When we reached there, to our surprise, our optician's close for the day. Damn, but never mind, i'll just come back another day to get the shades fixed. So we had lunch and then headed down to town to buy a jacket.

Started off from topshop at wisma atria and then headed down to zara at taka. Somehow my dad always seems to be in a hurry. We were breeze shopping; scary.

Anyway, we couldn't find anything that we really wanted, so we headed down to the other zara, next to wheelock place, thinking that we might get a lucrative selection over there as the men's department was bigger compared to the one over at wisma. Yes and no, we found jackets with the my-dad-would-think-it's-worth-buying-for-me price! Not only did we find jackets, i found the silver surfer shirt which i've been eyeing on for ages! The best part was that it only cost 17 dollars! I thought it was perfect! BUT, unfortunately no SIZE!

I tried the shirt, it was too tied, almost bursting on me already. Felt as if it was some clean wrap pressed all over me. And the jacket was then too big. Pfft. Although this sounds stupid, but i do ponder sometimes why do we have sizes! If we live in a world without sizes then everything will be one size fit all! Isn't that good?

So the trip to zara was unfruitful, then we left for far east and by the time i reached far east, i felt a little tired and almost lost track of my objective. Thank God, i saw domanchi! So after much troubling the salesgirl about the colour and the size of the jacket, finally we bought one of them; By the way salesgirl, thanks for all that trouble, it's your job and you know it! hehehehe.

To cut the long story short, after buying, my dad got his belt altered at the nearest altering shop and then we head down to ikea to buy more stuff!

So the to-do list went down by two and i'm left with one.

After ikea, i told my dad that i needed to return to town to meet my friend. But that wasn't the friend i was suppose to meet.

That supposed friend i was going to meet really spoiled my entire night. We were suppose to meet at 8 plus latest 9 but to no avail, he bloody didnt even turn up. Shit, i got bastard by him. This time i'm really very peeved. I called him several times, he didn't reply. I left him with a couple of messages, he didnt reply. It was just a few days ago that we actually planned to meet up today and he told me that we could meet at 9. It was only a few days and it was during this week that we planned everything.

The factor that really got my blood boiling was that this wasn't the first time, neither was it the second time, nor was it even the third time. IT'S THE BLOODY FOURTH TIME! And to spice everything up, CONSECUTIVELY. One after another! And to further add more oil to the fire, he could leave me with a message saying that he's unable to make it today. BUT NO, no not at all.

Don't you think it's damn bastard? COMPLETELY no sense decency, responsibility and conscience! Gosh, what is the world going into man. I cannot believe how some people can just make people wait for nothing and then don't feel a shit. Actually, to look at this scenario all over again, it's scary such people don't even apologise. Is it because they've completely forgotten? Or are they just plain ignorant?

I just hope one day, some sharp conscience will hit you right smack in your face.

...

2006-01-22T19:37:00.000+08:00

I should have just listened.

It's so true, the devil lures you into alcohol and then you drink and you drink and you drink... after that, what does he do? Drink, drank, drunk, and then he leaves you to die in your own folly.

STUPID!

Jesus forgive me.. ='(

You and Me.

2006-01-15T01:28:00.000+08:00

I've see you, i've known you and i want you. I want you, want you as a friend, a friend that's closer than special. I want us to be more than friends.

When you thought it wouldn't be that soon.

2006-01-07T23:50:00.000+08:00

I thought i'd blog later, but i can't help it but to blog about this particular issue that's somewhat, disturbing, worrying and shocking. Presently, i'm pretty much confidant to say that the end is drawing nearer and we're indeed living in the last days of earth. What i just saw on television was beyond belief but it is true and it's coming to past.

It was on the news and it reported that some american guy just created some microchip that could be imbued into your hand so that you could literally access the computer and information through your fingertips.

If you're a christian, i'm sure you've probably read the bible in various books such as Matthew, about some signs of the last days. There are many signs but certainly, the bible predicted this sign that in the last days, people would start to have chips inserted into their bodies and this is it. I just saw it on television, the prophecy is true.

I'm sure during the days of the bible, people couldn't be so advanced and high tech that would know how to churn out such an accurate conviction.

No seriously and sensibly, i don't think they were able to predict about the future, 2000 years ago.

I've to say that i'm very convicted after what i've just saw on television, that end is soon to come. It's just a matter of time.

Happy New Year!

2006-01-02T20:25:00.000+08:00

I know this is abit late but still, HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

Since it's a new year, which means a new start, so i guess it's time that i'd find a new blog again! Will update everyone once i've found the time to change my blog, but for now, i'll stick to this one. =)

Enjoy yourself people, hope everyone has a blessed year ahead of them!

Laters!

Christmas activities!

2005-12-29T03:02:00.000+08:00

Finally, i've got more than enough reasons to blog again! So, for the past a week, life has been pretty much exciting and interesting. Oh yes, did i forget to say that i just came back from genting? Anyway, i'll elaborate on that if i have the time and energy to do it.

As you all know, 25th is Christmas day! And if i haven't greeted you MERRY CHRISTMAS, here's one going out to all of you! MERRY CHRISTMAS! And to Jesus, definitely this day is His day, so HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

I shall continue with the many events that have occured. Ever since 21, which is a Wednesday if i'm not wrong, we had a house party organised by my cell group, which was themed "All i want for christmas is..." It's the usual practice that the cell groups organised christmas home parties. And i thank God all of my friends came for it! Thank you people! Hope you all had fun, because i did had fun though.

And then following the 23rd, well nothing too glamorous about, but was at black. It was fun too! Thanks Cal! And ever since that night, my body clock's screwed up until now! I reached home at about 7 in the morning?

And then the next day, which was the 24th, Christmas eve, i woke up at about 4 o'clock and before i knew it, i had to get dressed up and rushed down to church for carolling! I must admit that this year's carolling's really good and exciting! I had lot's of fun! I just love carolling! We sang and took many many pictures. I'll be putting up some of the pictures of my blog, so you can have a look at them!

And carolling totally stole the limelight away from the "fun" at orchard. Was pretty much disappointing to see how would some people celebrate Christmas with the least meaning of just arming themselves with spray cans on each hand, blindly and annoyingly spraying at any random passerby. Town didnt even look like town for a moment, it looked as if a grenade war had just begun and there were empty shells lying all over the streets. I felt pretty much apprehensive and at the same time annoyed, because the last thing that i would like to see myself in is to be filled with foam all over from head to toe, feeling all so sticky, when you've actually took so much time and effort just to dress up for the occasion. So being already so turned off, within half an hour, i left for nick's house.

It was pretty fun over at nick's house. I felt a sense of relieved because we managed to escape from the street of chaos as so we perceived. We went for supper with his bro at some old coffee shop, somewhere near tanjong pagar and then left for nick's house. We didn't really sleep until at about 6 in the morning?

So it was another day that i didnt get good sleep, because i had to wake up at 9 which was 2 hours away, and then i had to rush home. To get changed for christmas service and i had to pack my stuff, to get ready for the genting trip which i'd be leaving for on that night. After christmas service, although i was hit with extreme fatigue, i felt happy giving away some of the presents i bought for my church mates! I'm sorry if i didnt get you any gifts, because a hole is really burning in the pocket! Forgive me yeah! There's one more thing that actually kept me surviving which was the lunch reception after christmas service, the one and only thing that got enticed and caught my attention, it could be none other than the the "Chocolate fountain!" It was this machine that creates a fountain of chocolate sauce and you're suppose to dip fruits or mashmallows into them and after that take a bite...SENSATIONAL! Love chocolates! It was really good!

Still, i didnt sleep at all. After everything ended, i left for my aunt's place for more christmas celebrations. By the time i reached my aunt's place, i couldnt stand the lethargy and thought of going to sleep, but my dad said that he wanted to go down to queenstown and of course i was tempted by it and i relented, i followed him. It was a wrong choice, because my head felt super heavy, i thought it could almost spin and if at any point of time i'd to close my eyes, i would fall into a very deep sleep.

At about 10 in the night, still on the 25th, i left for genting with my school mates. By that time, i couldn't stand it anymore, i knew i needed to sleep, so immediately after all the administrating issues were settles and the bus arrived, i threw my bag into the bus, and raced to the designated seat and fell asleep.

Madness, i tell you! I was exhausted from all the activities! But even then, i couldn't have sleep that was non-interrupted because i had to pass through the customs and settle all the immigration issues. So my sleep was pretty much interrupted here and then.

And when we reached genting at about 6 in the morning? That's the worst timing you could ever reach genting. Because we couldn't check into our hotels any time soon until 1230 and that will be 6 and a half hours away! Tired! I declared tired and i went to the nearest starbucks, bought a drink and doze off to sleep until about 11.

Ah i wish i could blog even further about the activities that happened for the past few days, but i'm getting tired...So i shall continue tomorrow then! Goodnights everyone!

God bless!

the trouble with life

2005-12-11T23:55:00.000+08:00

............Situation 1....................
Person A: Hey! There's an event i'd like you to go for, would you be free?
Person B: Alright then!

and then a few days later...

Person A: Hello again, today's the event, so you're going right?
Person B: Erm..I'm sorry...but..i don't think i'll be able to make it..So sorry!
Person A: But i thought you could make it?
Person B: Sorry!
Person A: .....okay then.

...................Situation 2..................
Person A: Hey could i borrow your discount card from you?
Person B: Yeah sure. When do you need it?
Person A: Pretty soon, so when can i get it from you?
Person B: Anytime!
Person A: Great! See you!

And then a couple of days later...

Person A: Hey can i meet you tomorrow or the day after to get the card from you?
Person B: Erm..i'm really sorry, i can't meet you tomorrow or the day after.
Person A: Oh why?
Person B: Well, i've already got plans for the day.
Person A: ....Okay..so when can i get from you the card again?
Person B: Oh shit, i'm really sorry, i just lend the card to another friend! I'm really sorry!
Person A: ...Sigh..alright..

Familiar isn't it? Daily occurences.. Nowadays, it's hard to please others, yet it's hard to please yourself with others. When somebody turns you down, should you get angry? Should you just be understanding? Both sides aren't good anyway.

If you get angry with the other party, they might evade and avoid you. While if you be nice, somehow, one day, they might even take it for granted and conveniently climb over your head. And you'd think to yourself, what did i get at the end of all this? And nothing comes to your mind, except disappointment and frustration. And then the more you think about it, still nothing.

Yes, the answer is nothing. You dont gain anything out of being nice nor being firm.

The bloody trouble with life. And i can still believe people could really say, 'relax'. Don't you think to yourself sometimes, what's the use of saying sorry, if everything's just going to be undone and nobody gives a shit, because 'sorry' is just a word of escapism and at the end enthrone themselves into oblivion?

Bitterness you can say about me right now. But seriously, three words, one phrase, I HAD ENOUGH.

rui en!

2005-12-05T22:51:00.000+08:00

Did you see rui en on television last night!! Shit, she threw me off my seat the moment the camera flashed and paused at her and when i even had knowledge about her clinching an award for herself, she made me flipped off the seat and i could hardly make any noise, because the bloody camera was FOCUSED on her! She's damn pretty! =)

But somehow she doesnt seem very happy, i feel that she's not happy about something, others say that she's arrogant. What do you think?

p.s but i still think she's pretty.

divine encounter

2005-12-01T13:28:00.000+08:00

yesterday, i saw an angel!

Those words..

2005-11-28T22:52:00.000+08:00

Even when you're far away, i havent forgotten the words i've said to you and i know you'd still remember what i've said. Realistically, i'll wait for you, until i am unable to wait for you anymore. But for now, still remember me because i'm always here for you..waiting..

what do you do?

2005-11-20T00:36:00.000+08:00

The thought of having weekends are great but at the same time, they could be so much of a stressful, burdensome, irritating day of the week. Don't you think so?

Well..simply because if you're a person like me, i don't really support the idea of 'wasting' away my weekends just like that. 'Wasting' could mean, "Shit, what should i do for the day?" or when you've already thought of planning to go out with friends and then you start to ponder, "Who should i go out with?"

It's just irritating when you simply can't find anybody that you truly desire to go out with...

a part of the night at paragon

2005-11-15T21:22:00.001+08:00

Instead of writing a really lengthy entry about how i'd spend my day yesterday, i guess pictures could substitute a thousand words for me.

As you could clearly see from the pictures, there's me, jwong, my aunt and her friend! We were at paragon, starbucks, chilling out! And definitely(as how my aunt would term it), cam -whoring!

But it really was very fun! A fun night out! With plenty of posing, jokes and riddles! -grins-

on a saturday night

2005-11-12T23:38:00.000+08:00

My contact lens are beginning to irritate me. I've been wearing it since 12 in the afternoon and yes, it's drying up in my eyes and i'm feeling uncomfortably tired. Presently, i'm at my aunt's house and without any doubt, i'm definitely sitting in front of her computer and writing this entry down.

Was invited to my aunt's house because one of my aunties' child's one month old, so growing up in a more or less pretty much traditional family, the practice of celebrating the baby's one month of age is never too new.

Hmmm..to say, i really have a lot of aunts and strangely, using the english language, they are still 'aunt'. And then if you ask me, "Which Aunt?". I've got to give you a whole presentation about my family tree. BUT in chinese? Now, that's a different story...and i shan't continue with it.

Alright, my aunt just came into the room. And..and..yes that's about it. She doesnt mind me hogging her computer so i shall continue with this entry. I know, im such an ass nephew.

Hmm...somehow, i just can't churn out anything to write about anymore. Maybe i should continue with blogging when i'm home, but then again, i guessed i would be too tired to do a whole lot of typing.

So can i end off now?

Laters!

Happy Birthday!

2005-11-12T00:20:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRUDDA WAYNE!!

TRIPLE KILL!

2005-11-10T14:09:00.000+08:00

OKAY THIS IS SO COOL! TTTRRRIIIPPPLLLEEE KILL! SO HAPPY BIRTHDAY Y'ALL!

happy birthday!

2005-11-09T21:32:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ARIEL, MY BIATCH, STUDMAN!!!

Happy Birthday!

2005-11-08T12:46:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AARON HUR HUR!

happy belated birthday wilson

2005-11-07T18:12:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WILLIE WONKA HELLBOY!

Clubbing at newsroom

2005-11-01T15:54:00.000+08:00

Last night was the worst of all my drinking and clubbing times. BUT it was helluva fun! A night packed with so many 'adventures'. Haha. Guess i wouldn't be going for anymore parties until Dec 23rd..it can really burn a hole in the pocket. Man... I think the next time i club, it's best that i don't over drink... 3 times in a row i got wasted! Don't want to puke all over the place again...

Guess it's time to enjoy the drink and dancing!

Hmm today seems as if its a sunday or something. Thank God it's a public holiday!

Lackadaisical me.

2005-10-28T12:52:00.000+08:00

yawns...man i'm so tired.. i've been busy working for the past few hours and only now then could i get a little bit of rest from everything. Lunch hour for me is pretty near but somehow i don't feel like eating and yet i'm hungry. Ever experience such moments before? I guess, if i'd were to go and look for food now, i'll be more than happy to eat.

I just gave the longest and widest yawn of the century.. i'm really tired. I dont think having more than 10 hours of sleep will make me anyhow awake. I've been so tired recently and yet i try to sleep as early as 1030, but at times, the computer games are just too much alluring that you just compromise. Before you know it, oh man it's already 11 plus! Then i've got to race quickly to bed (although the beds just four steps away from the computer) and quickly bring myself into sleep.

Unfortunately, i havent master the skill of getting into sleep within 5 minutes.. But i know my brother can! He could amazingly lie down on his bed, close his eyes and after about 5 minutes, he has already left for dreamland. Brilliant!

Okay, i feel kind of hungry right now, but i haven't really decide on what i should eat yet. Anyway, i'm ending this entry here.

(Anybody going out later? Hey it's a friday! Call me! -hint- )

If you were mine..

2005-10-21T15:40:00.000+08:00

If you were mine,

I'd be your everything and you'd be the only thing that I would ever need.

If you were mine,

I would tell everyone that you are the only one that I could ever want

Ohhh Yeaaa

Everything I dreamed about

Everything that I talked about

One thing I can't live without

I wanna get closer to you

Can't stand being far away

Knowing that you don't feel the same way

Questioning bring tears to your eyes

If you were mine,
I'd be your everything and you'd be the only thing that I would ever need.
If you were mine,
I would tell everyone that you are the only one that I could ever want

Ohhh Yeaaa

All words I sing about

All that is that I write about

Only thing I wanna hear about

So that I can get closer to you

I know that there is someone else, but he's only thinking of himself

Doesn't make any sense for you to be lonely

If you were mine,

I'd be your everything and you'd be the only thing that I would ever need.

If you were mine,

I would tell everyone that you are the only one that I could ever want

Ohhh Yeaaa

Let me be the one to share your hopes and dreams with

You'll never be alone again, cuz' I will hold you endlessly

Please don't be afraid to let your brokenheart guide you

Into these open arms that long to surround you, baby!!

If you were mine,
I'd be your everything and you'd be the only thing that I would ever need.
If you were mine,
I would tell everyone that you are the only one that I could ever want

words in red are the words i am trying to expressed but unable to do it..anymore..i meant it, every word..

When the days are gloom...

2005-10-20T22:35:00.000+08:00

I wish i could blog about the distressing situation that's occuring in my home now. But i guess it's not so glam to talk about it anyway. So better not.

Tears were shed, insults and curses have been thrown at each other. I pray for a better day tomorrow and that everything in my family will resume to it's original positive state as soon as possible.

Anyway, today's a thursday and in a couple of hours time, friday's going to come. And that means that it's nearing the weekends, but i guess it wouldn't be too much of a happy weekend. Family internal problems, and a foreseen unproductive friday after work.

Why such a despondant statement? Well...it's simple, after work i've got nobody that i could call out. Everybody's either having the big O's soon and they need to study, or it's just plainly..i just can't call you out...pfft..

So if any of my good friends, if you're looking reading this particular entry, do open the doors of your heart and call me out. Leading a pretty sad, monotonous life for now..i hope.

Working day.

2005-10-18T16:31:00.000+08:00

i failed to ignore the voice behind my head. It compelled me into writing this entry, when the computer screen is tempting and starring blankly at me, telling me to quickly fill something in my blog. I can't help it so here it is...

Now, i'm at work. Decided to take a little breather for awhile from all that working. Work's been pretty fine for the day except that there is this bloody irritating colleague of mine that is really driving me up the wall. He keeps 'commanding' me to do things and i'm sorry i don't really take it very positively, when someone tries to portray me as if i'm not doing my work. I really hate it and it's getting up my nerves. Ergh!

I might be soooo much younger than you but i am sensible enough to complete my job.

Anyway, it's about an hour plus left until i get off from work. Today's my dad's birthday! So HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD! -a can of beer to you, Cheers!- I'm elated, because there will surely be good dinner when i get home tonight!

Oh yes, i definitely have to honour my God here. Well, i thank him for giving me preferably good results! And because of my preferably good results, i'll be getting an ipod video! Sweet! So thanks God first and then Dad!

I can't bear to leave this entry now, but i've got to. Just in case some bugger comes up to me and says, "w-w-w-w-what's this? Is that your work? Have you found the casenotes that i need? Go and do your work first, don't keep doing other things.", "Have you gotten the casenotes? You better quickly go, if not the dental clinic closes." (Basket, I just got onto my email you slut. And i was doing my work, bitch, you surely got a problem with waiting. SHUT UP.)

Laters.

new ipod or ipod nano?

2005-10-17T09:23:00.000+08:00

i can't decide which one i should get, ipod nano or the new ipod? any comments anyone? convince me!

Don't Love You No More (I'm Sorry)

2005-10-16T10:56:00.000+08:00

For all the years that I've known you baby
I can't figure out the reason why lately you've been acting so
cold
(didn't you say)
If there's a problem we should work it out
So why you giving me the cold shoulder now
Like you don't even wanna talk to me girl
(tell me)
Ok I know I was late again
I made you mad and then it's throwing the pan
But why are you making this drag on so long
(i wanna know)
I'm sick and tired of this silly games
(silly games)
Don't figure that I'm the only one here to blame
It's not me here who's been going round slamming doors
That's when you turned and said to me
I don't care babe who's right or wrong
I just don't love you no more.

Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's, too late, to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more

I know that I made a few mistakes
But never thought that things would turn out this way
Cause I'm missing something now that your gone
(I see it all so clearly)
Me at the door with you inner state
(inner state)
Giving my reasons but as you look away
I can see a tear roll down your face
That's when you turned and said to me
I don't care babe who's right or wrong
I just don't love you no more.

Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's, too late, to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more

Don't say those words it's so hard
They turn my whole world upside down
Girl you caught me completely off guard
On the night you said to me
I just don't love you more.

Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's, too late, to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more

Beau.

2005-10-13T10:38:00.000+08:00

i have never thought that this would actually happen to me. I always knew you'd be there for me. But i've never thought that you would actually mean so much to me. Realisation has brought upon me the revelation that i can no longer take you for granted and, that you have always been standing there but i could not see.

Now i've seen it, if you could only see how much you mean to me. Now I think of you everyday, every minute i'm missing you. For that i'm more than certain about my feelings.

But i guess it's fine, you would soon realise it and you will know what i mean. It's not too long before you'd discover.

As for me, i have to prepare myself for the good or for the bad? Of course it would be for the worst because the best has been prepared. Even if things do not turn out the way i'd like it to go, i'll be happy for you and hopefully we'll still be close friends.

If i cant have you, let me still cling on to the friendship that we have moulded and nurtured through the years.

Even if you feel lousy or unpretty, allow me to tell you that you're still beautiful. Still beautiful to me in every way.

And last but not least, the bottom line of this whole idiosyncrasy is, I love you.

This entry goes out to you, my beau...

Where are you????

2005-10-09T23:21:00.000+08:00

"(I know you are out there baby...somewhere)
There is someone out there for me (I know there is somebody out there)
I know she is waiting so patiently (yeah) can you tell me her name? (Somebody tell me her name)
This life-long search is gonna drive me insane
How does she laugh? How does she cry? What's the color of her eyes?
Does she even realize I'm here?
Where is she? Where is she? Where is she? Where is this beautiful girl?
Who is she? Who is she? Who is gonna complete my world?
Where is she? Where is she? Where is this beautiful girl?
Who is she? Who is she? Who is gonna complete my world?
dadadadadada dadadada dadadadadada (where are you?)

There is someone out there for me (there is someone out there for me)
I know she is waiting so patiently (so patient)
Can you tell me her name (can you tell me his name)
This life-long search is gonna drive me insane (that's right)

Where is she? Where is she? Where is she? Where is this beautiful girl?
Who is she? Who is she? Who is gonna complete my world?"

i want to know...

Relaxed.

2005-10-07T16:32:00.000+08:00

Currently in the office right now. Nothing much to do right now, actually just waiting for a colleague to complete some documents before i could prepare to send them over to the various clinical departments.

Before i continue, did i write about the current job that i am being employed? I don't recall but anyway, i didn't really know what i was up for until the very day when i actually reported to work. When i first walked into the human resource departments, i presumed that i would be working down there. I was elated, "great, reasonable pay and a nice working environment, this must be a blessing". Well, i was wrong. Wrong in the portion where i'd be working in that office. I was sent to another department, MRO the acronym for (Medical Record Office).

I must say that the type of job that i'd expected wasnt compromised drastically, just a little. In fact, it's pretty good. I've got a desk to myself, and i'm still working in an office. (That's why i can write an entry now, in the office.) Cool.

About my job, i'm a clerk, basically i just have to do some tracking of medical records for the various staff personnels who requires them. When i've found the files needed, i just have to check it in, out or transfer them. Yes, you could say it's more or less being like a librarian.

Hmm...interestingly, today's my "slackiest" day. I don't really have much files to track for or to complete any other paperwork. I even had time to sleep! That's what you call making money, without even putting in alot of effort you get cash for sleeping! Sweet.

Alright i shan't boast or gush about my job now.

Today's friday! Great! The weekend's near and so it's time to party! (I cant wait for Saturday actually.)

Signing off now!

Laters.

Chelsea sucks!

2005-10-06T14:33:00.000+08:00

The name of this football team, "C.H.E.L.S.E.A F.C" never fails to piss me off because Chelsea equals to red. SO i see red. It's such a pain in the ass and a sore to the ears. They think they are damn good but i believe they will fall one day. They are being over ambitious, i wish they would knock their heads and get screwed in the ass when they dont get to win ALL the trophies(which i certainly doubt), as they have openly and shamelessly declare to the world.

Jose Mourinho. Okay now this name. I'm sure you all know who's this. Its the manager of that disgusting football club. I just cannot believe that he actually trademark his sickening name and he's going to get 1 million pounds because of that. SICK.

Ah, it's disgusting. I shan't continue or i'll really have to puke whatever that i'd previously ate.

I dont like Chelsea. They are bullshit.

Working.

2005-10-05T08:31:00.000+08:00

Day three. The third day since i've started working. Work's been pretty okay. reasonable and manageable. In fact i thought it was pretty much relax compared to jobs in F&B industries.

I just reached the office actually.

Wish i could blog more but i've got to start working. I'm just afraid might just catch me in the act and deem me as slacking.

Laters!

Mission Accomplished.

2005-10-01T02:36:00.000+08:00

I knew my God would help me get a job! YES! I got a job! I'm going to be working at Alexandra Hospital with effect from this coming Monday but until when, i'm not very sure and will be confirmed again. The pay's not bad, 6 dollars an hour and if you work for more than 42 hours a week, you'd get one and half times the pay for the subsequent overtime hours. And the more lucrative part of it all, is that when you work on a weekend, the pay's double!

I look forward to Monday and hopefully i'd be able to acquire some new and interesting experiences through this job!

Thanks mum and God! I owe you.

Man, when i get my first pay, i'll have to tithe 10 percent of it to God first and then treat my parents and grandmama to some lunch or dinner. (Don't worry! Mich i'll get you a waterfall or a flaming lambho!)

Hmm i just got home from supper with parents. I ate quite a lot. Had a bowl of wanton noodles and another delicious bowl of prawn noodles and i just ate these irresistable, aroma mouth-watering chicken wings. Nice! -belches-

It's really late, time for bed. Laters then.

I know everything in this world was rented to me, even the air that i breathe. God, you gave a me job, wouldnt you give me an angel too?

job hunting escapade part 2

2005-09-30T00:41:00.000+08:00

'tick, tick, tick.....' Time is ticking away...time's up! I really need a job soon! If not i'd be pretty much deprived and restricted! A week's almost up and i urgently need to get a decent job so that i could have some necessary cash to do and buy things! And the mum and dad are not really helping, as the idea of still giving me allowance aren't very favourable to them as it's the holidays.

I think i might need some money to start partying and also, i'm intending to wipe my whole wardrobe out for a new set of clothes. The chosen clothes have already been targetted, but the money isn't rolling in at all. Jobless.

Anyway, i went around more intensely than yesterday to job scout.

I've finally come to a conclusion that guys are not getting many good stuff in Singapore. The girls are getting MORE and the better jobs! For every newspaper that i've turned, ever advertisement that are being posted on the net and every other advertisements pasted around the street, 70% of the temporary jobs are targetted at WOMEN.

Why this conclusion? First you walk around the streets and when you see an advertisement that's being pasted flat on the glass panel, it screams, "Part/Full Time Sales Assistant wanted". Okay it might look very attractive and all, but when you move closer over to the advertisement, to go through the prerequisites and when you thought you could actually have the opportunity to go into the stall and perhaps enquire if they still need people, just one phrase, one phrase to bring your hopes to smithereens, "female working environment(in a more crude form, guys, we are only looking for girls.)". So when your hopes are shattered, the light in your eyes slips away instantaneously, and you curse and swear because that was a fatality move. The advertisement was easy to comprehend, and you've got to turn around and scout for more jobs.

Next, you stumble upon this advertisement while you were searching for a job online, and it says, "Temp Admin Asst - 2 month". And you thought, sweet, just what i need, and then you click on the ad, the screen refreshes and brings you to a new page with more details elaborated on that particular job, so the first thing you'd see on details that seems to explode in your face, "$8.50/hr". Lucrative! Again, your eyes sparkle with delight, and so you thought it is more than worth it to actually go through the details from the top. Then that killer phrase slams into the centre of the screen, "FEMALE WORKING ENVIRONMENT".

Mum, could you look for a more suitable job for me?

Pfft.

I have got to get a job pretty soon. SO if any of you who have knowledge of any, please inform me first!

Also, i went over to NUM(New Urban Male). Hmm i think i should leave this for later, just in case i get the job. If not... make a helluva big deal on the blog! (Cross my fingers and hope that it wouldn't become some case of libel.)

Anyway, i'll be going on job hunt part 3 tomorrow, hopefully i'd come back with more jobs and Recruit better have more attractive job advertisement tomorrow!

Then again, I'm sure my God will provide me right?

Okay, it's about 1 o'clock already. Time to head off for bed.

if i had my angel, i'd write her a message everyday. i promise.

job hunting escapade

2005-09-28T12:31:00.000+08:00

Oh no! i totally forgot about this, but i have to wish Jillian a very very belated birthday! And i thought the party was pretty fun, especially having a bouncy castle over at your house!

I think brotherhood should invest in the bouncy castle during somebody's eighteen birthday... -hint-

One week has passed since the 2 months holiday started. I guess i'd have pretty much enjoyed it, nothing beats the smell of the holidays after you've studied and slog the month before the holidays. Sweet! Then again, i don't think i'll be bumming my 2 months holiday away, i'm currently trying to look for a job.

It's so tough to look for a suitable job. It seems as if i'd earn money by just waiting for them to return a call. Calling up various companies up and enquiring from these job agencies if they could accomodate any part time job for about two months? Actually i'm more choosy than, 'any'.

I'm looking for jobs that doesnt require me to work during the weekends, to be able to pay me at least 6 dollars an hour, that i don't have to lurk around the streets, approaching people like an irritant. Currently, i've appealed and sent some resumes to these job agencies if they could get me a job as a temporary data entry assistant or an administrative staff. Hopefully, they wouldn't pass me by and totally forget that there's still one more soul here who needs to occupy his time and earn some money.

Gosh...

2005-09-25T22:02:00.000+08:00

Can somebody try to understand me a little? Damn this shit.

angel

2005-09-24T02:01:00.000+08:00

i need an angel, God would you send me one?

hungry...

2005-09-23T00:58:00.000+08:00

im hungry..i need some food... (rummages through the fridge, scanning high and low but, nothing). somebody feed me!

emotional music video

2005-09-22T12:19:00.000+08:00

Heard of this chinese song called tong hua? I'm not a fan of chinese songs but this song's really nice, be sure to catch the MTV for it. And im sure that this song has existed for ages and i've just got to know about it, but nonetheless! If you could get a hold on the MTV, take a look at it! It's emotional, that's why it's nice.

Shine On

2005-09-21T18:33:00.000+08:00

I've given every
moment I had
still I could never
seem to keep up
with you
you're done with one mile and on to
another one
thousand
still I could never seem to keep up with you

I know you'll be better off without me when im gone
You know your
You're beautiful
Shine on you were made to shine on
and you know I love you
and even if we can or cant be friends
I'll be with you until
the very end so
Shine on
You were made to

Its keepin me awake every night But i can never seem to give up on you

I send up a prayer then I'm on to another one thousand
But i can never seem to give up on you
I know you
you'll be better off without me when I'm gone You know your, your beautiful
Shine on you were made to shine on
and you know I love you
and even if we can or cant be friends
I'll be with you until
the very end so
Shine on
You were made to
Nobody's wrong Nobody's right
keep movin on
Shine on you were made to
shine on and you know i love you
and even if we can or cant be friends
you're gunna be brighter then you've ever been so shine on
you're gonna be just fine oohh
you're gunna be alright love
you're gonna be just fine
you're gunna be alright love

Play time!

2005-09-20T10:39:00.000+08:00

Finally, the moment has arrived! The day i could relax and be stress-free until a month later! The exams are finally over! Very happy. Now, i can do what i want to do at my own time and free will!

Yesterday's paper was on multimedia computer, thank God it was a pretty easy paper. Some students completed the paper in the time span of about 30 minutes! The paper was supposed to be for 2 hours that is. Well, i completed it in an hour plus.

Here's a brief account on what i did after the exams. I went out with an initial group of five people but at the end, we ended up with only three persons. Sadly, i'm the only singled and available person in the entire group. Freaking lightbulb! But nonetheless, at least a pair of couple left us, or rather we've decided to abandon them. So we hope you had fun yeah, the two of you!

So leaving with the three of us, we proceeded on to sakae sushi, at orchard! Yes, that was what i was craving for. Funny as it is, we had been debating where to eat, either sakae or breeks. Because some of them didnt want to eat japanese food, but still we ended up at sakae! Perfect.
And then after dinner, we strolled around for awhile and then i left them to meet another friend. So i got back home at about midnight?

Okay, today's a new day, a new wave of activities! To keep everything in a nutshell, i'll be going over to ariel's place to play xbox and later on perhaps, some swimming and exercising! I'm done with this entry, i'm going to read today's newspapers!

Later.

good time.

2005-09-16T01:01:00.000+08:00

The projects have all been submitted, deadlines and all assignments have been met. Five exams have passed and now left with one more to go. Which is good because the major exams are all over and for the last, it's not too much of a killer.

Hmm, i've never taken so many papers and felt that the difficulty of the papers are at the moderate level. So it might be a consolation, but it could meant that i might achieve results that puts me in mediocrity.

So the last paper will be this coming monday and after that, holidays! Perfect! Just what i need! I need a break from all this studying to recuperate the energy that i'll be conserving for the next lap of this year.

This sucks. Somehow, i'm down with flu, cough and sore throat! This is terrible. The holidays are nearing and now im sick? This cannot be true! NO! I'd better get well soon. God, help me?

Oh no, i've got brain traffic jam, the words are not coming out, i cant think of what to write now. I know there are alot to update but the brain isnt thinking! I feel like i've been stopped in mid-air by some repulsive force that's stopping me from generating more things to blog about!

I'm leaving. Will update again.

my stupidity

2005-09-07T23:27:00.000+08:00

if i'd only knew that by going down to 'meet' all of you was to merely fellowship with a bloody computer i would just stay home because i've got a computer at home and i've already fellowship with it more than enough. Thank you so much for wasting my time, you rock.

And then you wish...

2005-09-06T22:07:00.000+08:00

Isn't it so true that you only do cherish, treasure and love the person you truly love until you've lost them or you allow them to slip by you? And yet, you just don't learn from it? I think i'm one victim. But then again, somethings were allowed to slipped by for a reason that should benefit us in someone way. Funny?

a breathing gap.

2005-08-30T20:19:00.000+08:00

Finally, i've got sometime for myself to at least update my all-so-stagnant-blog. As you've reckoned, i've been busy with the school work. Projects, deadlines, assignments and exams to study for, etc.
Anyway, i'm left with my digital media project for now, should be able to complete it in a couple of days. I just can't wait to complete it so i could peacefully do my other revisions. School's been hectic for the past two weeks. There was endless loads of work, every night i complete some work, the next day i'll get more.
So this is poly life. B-U-S-Y
But i know i've got to perservere for just a couple of more weeks, because the reward of about 2 months of holidays will be coming up pretty soon. So that's a good motivation, yet a consolation prize.
As you all know, tomorrow or the day after is teacher's day. So Happy Teacher's Day to the teachers around the world! Cheers. So, a group of seven of us went back to barker today. Some wore the uniform, some didn't. Oh but i did. Anyway, we visited our newly crowned vice-principal, who was our former english teacher, the principal himself, our form teacher, lit teachers and i think that's about it. I DO MISS BARKER. I miss those days that i was in barker road, having all the fun that i can never receive from poly. Secondary school days are just simply fun, you make friends that would stand by you and friends that you could keep for all the years of your life. As i was on the journey to barker, my school's moto came into my mind, "Grow Old Along With Me, The Best Is Yet To Be".
Indeed it's so true, i've made friends with students and teachers that i could grow old along with. Really appreciate everything that has been passed down to me in barker road, the culture, the unique style.
Okay, i've got to end here. Got to get back to reality and start working on the project.

Later.

A simple saturday.

2005-08-13T11:38:00.000+08:00

Went to cut my hair yesterday and i'm pretty contented with it. Though it was a hairstyle that does not follow my initial plans. As i was browsing through the book, i stumbled upon this particular hairstyle which is pretty nice although it is really short and it'll will take me some time to grow back alot of hair.

I think the hairstylist at ST salon is good. She can cut nice hair.

Since i havent have much to update about anything, so i'd just give a short account of what i'll be doing today.
Well, i'll be heading down to church at about 2 for music practice. I'll be drumming for the cantonese service tomorrow. Today's my first day, so wish me that it'll go through smoothly! (Hopefully, my left leg wouldnt stop me froming playing.)

So after music practice, i've got church service to attend then after that i think i'd be meeting sharon, if not then i'll just go out with my church peeps.

Yes! That's about it for the day.

Later.

Explosive air.

2005-08-09T23:16:00.000+08:00

I'm not quite sure what's wrong with today. There seems to be some explosive air in Singapore today. Everyone around me seems to crackle with anger, not with delight. There must be something wrong today. In line with the stupid 7th month shit that the chinese believe in, i really hate it. I dread this month. First i got hit by some shit ass car and now my whole family seems as if the world have just stepped on their bloody toes.

My dad seems easily agitated, my mum is as usual, easily angered but today the rate of change seems a little unusual. Both my parents are mood swinging like a see-saw. My brother's a blood fag, who can't seem to converse properly with others. That bugger really needs to learn some good and polite conversational skills.

I'm not afraid of him looking at this entry. Because i really think you need to reply people politely, just as others do to you. Just a word of advice, you better watch your language that you chose to use, dont use it blindly without any proper understanding of the words. Trust me, if you continue your shit ways, you'll get whacked up by people and i say you deserve it because you dont know when to shut up. GROW UP.

I'm pretty peeved because of their unprecedented behaviour for the day. I really feel like going out of this house for the day and come home at night. Never knew that staying at home could be like a house turned hell hole instead. Literally.

In the afternoon, i was screamed at by my dad, well maybe i deserved it but I was confused and bewildered by the family's overall mood ever since the day started. I dont understand my dad sometimes, he can talk to anybody in the world politely, but he can never talk to my mum nicely and then that's where the world will start to crumble and a fight is triggered.

Maybe my mum's really sarcastic most of the time when she opens up her mouth, but i believe that my dad should just talk to her nicely when she isnt sarcastic and all. The ironic thing about all these, is that they are often in the opposite of moods when they are conversing.

My mum just screamed at my maid and i really dont understand why the hell does she always like to associate words or connotations of death into her sentences. I feel at times, she contradicts what she tells my maid to do, for example, when my mum tells my maid to ask her anything if she doesnt know. But when my maid ask her, she gives her a responce that to her, seems all too rhetorical, "what do you think?". Tell me, is that menopause or pms? I dont know.

Enough! I need some peace people. I really dont feel good enough being anchored down to home because of my darn injury. I'm frustrated with it and all. Can't i just have my peace?

At this present moment, even when my brother and dad are out, the bloody tense atmosphere seems to lurk and linger around the house and i hate the feeling of it all. God i cry and plead, take away this tension, right now. Please!

I really pray for a better day tomorrow, because it's affecting me too much, i'm becoming angry and frustrated myself. Completely befuddled by everything that has happened today. Indeed, people's moods could be metaphorically compared to a wave or a tide, you dont know when it's coming up or going down unless you keep close observation. But, as for me i dont care, i have better things to bother about than this.

If i'm sick of all this shit, i'm sure it's about time that they should observe what is happening and feel my sentiments.

It's national day today, i want to wish the nation a very happy birthday! Happy Birthday Singapore!

I had enough ranting already, thanks. Good Bye.

Eye Candy

2005-08-09T20:57:00.000+08:00

Did you all see rui en during ndp? She's sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sweet-looking, cute and pretty! Rui en...

Bothering boredom.

2005-08-09T11:30:00.000+08:00

It's really a torture just staying at home and you can do nuts. God please heal my leg as soon as possible so i may just do what i want to do again! And to even go to church! I've got to miss sentosa today...hate it. All because of my folly, im in such shit hole. God please heal my leg so i can go out, staying at home and listening to my unhappy and ever so easily agitated parents wouldnt help heal my injury, they will make it worse.

You're Beautiful

2005-08-08T19:59:00.000+08:00

My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
Fucking high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.